Okay here’s the real one, no polish, just me typing fast before I lose the thought.
Players dominating the season are ruining my sleep schedule and I’m not even mad about it anymore. I’m in my little rental house just outside Raleigh, it’s March 11 evening here so the windows are open, crickets (the bug kind) are loud as hell outside, there’s that smell of someone down the street grilling burgers, and instead of watching Duke or UNC highlights like a normal person I’m deep in cricket YouTube rabbit holes again.
I swear last night I hit 2:48 a.m. refreshing Cricbuzz like it was going to give me a different outcome if I stared harder. My dog, a very judgmental beagle mix named Chester, gave me that side-eye look at 2:30 and went back to sleep on the rug. Meanwhile I’m over here whispering “how did he miss that yorker” to nobody.
What Makes These Players Dominating the Season Feel So Unfair
It’s not just big scores. It’s the little things that get under your skin.
- Openers who treat 150 km/h balls like underarm tosses
- Bowlers who make good batters look like beginners in the powerplay
- Finishers who turn 140/6 into 190/7 in four overs and make it look boring
I tried telling my coworker Marcus about it during lunch yesterday. We were at the food truck lot near the office park, eating tacos al pastor, and I go “dude this one guy is literally players dominating the season single-handedly” and he just chewed slower and said “you need more sunlight man.”
Fair.
That One Night I Fully Lost It
Two Thursdays ago the stream lagged right when this death-over specialist was about to bowl. I almost threw my phone. Then it buffers back in and he nails a slower ball that the batter swings straight through. I screamed “YES” so loud Chester launched off the couch and knocked over my water bottle. Water everywhere. Keyboard sticky for two days. Worth it.
I’m not proud. But when players dominating the season pull off stuff like that, you kinda have to react like a lunatic.
Here’s who’s actually doing it to me lately:
The Guys Who Are Players Dominating the Season Right Now
Virat Kohli Still. The dude is 37 or whatever and he’s chasing like it’s 2012 again. Watched him finish a 200+ run chase the other night and I just sat there with my mouth open. Numbers don’t lie: https://www.espncricinfo.com/cricketers/virat-kohli-253802
Jasprit Bumrah His action still looks illegal to my baseball brain but the results are disgusting. Last five overs? He’s the human equivalent of a cheat code. Profile here if you want the nerd stats: https://www.cricbuzz.com/profiles/9311/jasprit-bumrah
The new kids There’s always one 22-year-old who shows up out of nowhere and starts clearing the ropes like he’s playing in his backyard. This season there are two or three of them and I can’t keep their names straight yet but I’m learning fast.
I keep saying I’m going to quit this obsession. Then I get a push notification that says “player X just did something insane again” and I’m right back on the couch with the lights off and volume low so the neighbors don’t think I’m being murdered.
So that’s my current messed-up reality. If you’re also an American who accidentally got addicted to cricket because of players dominating the season, come say hi in the comments. Tell me your dumbest late-night moment. Or call me weird. I can take it.