Good morning!
Firstly, allow me to share this almost completely un-vetted video from a YouTuber with whom I am unfamiliar:
I did watch the first few minutes, and as an admirer of Jeff Jones his opening remarks resonated with me, so unless he completely changes direction and segues into an explanation of why the bike you really need is a full-suspended plastic Specialized with electronic shifting and suspension I feel comfortable presenting the video on that basis and look forward to watching the rest of it when I can take time out of my busy schedule of typing too many words about bikes and riding bikes when I should be doing more important things like parenting and working.
Speaking of important work, I don’t like to declare victory prematurely, but I think after much tinkering the Roadini is just about there:

Having gotten the triple shifting reliably the final matter was finding the optimum brake pads for the weird ceramic rims, and it turns out those are…ceramic-specific pads, go figure:

[Yes, you can still find ceramic-specific rim brake pads from Shimano. I should probably stockpile them because I’m undoubtedly the last person in the world who needs or wants them and there’s absolutely no way they’ll be making any more.]
I never really found ceramic-specific pads necessary with these wheels on other bikes but I’m assuming there’s a little bit of additional flex in the long-reach calipers and that it’s enough to allow for some squealing with normal pads under hard braking. But now the squealing’s gone and I look forward to officially concluding the Futzing Phase for the foreseeable future:

Meanwhile, in pro cycling news, Tadej Pogačar won the Strade Bianche bicycle-cycling race despite a dramatic crash:
Hi explanation? “I went too fast I guess:”

Indeed he did! I don’t mean to sound like one of those armchair Internet pundits who thinks he knows pro cycling better than the pros, but sorry Tadej, you’re going about it all wrong. For one thing, what’s up with this bike?

Of course you were going to fast! It’s almost like they designed the thing to go too fast on purpose! With all your success, surely you can spare the money for Path Less Pedaled guy’s “Bike Whisperer” service and get yourself a much slower bicycle:

Or maybe even hire him as your personal mechanic:

He’ll have you on a Velo Orange something-or-other with flat pedals, nineteen foot wide handlebars, and a full Shimano CUES drivetrain in no time.
Then you can finally rethink your foolhardy approach to cycling and come back at full strength for a mid-pack finish at the Five Boro Bike Tour:
Yes, I can already feel spring in my sinuses, which means it’s time to register for the Mother Of All Charity Rides. And since by then Pogačar will have fully embraced the Party Pace lifestyle, I’ll be poised to defeat him on George Plimpton’s Y-Foil, a.k.a. the Charity Ride Destroyer:

The real question is should I go rigid, or suspended?

Either way I’ll win, the only question is by how much.